So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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