All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
