I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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