he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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