I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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