I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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