It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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