Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
