I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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