I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
