I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
