absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
