don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
