It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
