he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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