I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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