Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
