The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
