he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
