When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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