oh god the rape fog is back!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
