No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
