3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
