I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
