I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
