An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
