THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can you bring me the toilet please
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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