before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
