He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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