When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
