its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
