I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
