Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
