Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
