My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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