my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
