Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Even my vagina gasped.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
