i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
