he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
