so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
