my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
