I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
