All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
