Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
