I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
