she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
