Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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