Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You pole danced in your parka.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
