shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
