Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
