he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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