I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
