Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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